


Broken Zipper and Cigarette Burns

by 7_Magpies



Series: Shyan Song Fics [12]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hugs, M/M, Quarantine is Lonely, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Sharing Clothes, Song: Hoodie (Hey Violet), Songfic, and that's that on that, cheek kisses are underrated, cute and fluffy, or rather stealing clothes, preslash, quarantine fic, so have this, they're breaking my heart, this is what happens when I write during sad girl hours, why have ryan and shane been posting throwbacks?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26590105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7_Magpies/pseuds/7_Magpies
Summary: Ryan's been meaning to get the hoodie back to Shane, honest. But then quarantine happened, and made it impossible.The hoodie is helping with the overall loneliness, though, even if it's bittersweet.-----This is a songfic based on "Hoodie" by Hey Violet. It's a standalone and unrelated to previous works in this series.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Series: Shyan Song Fics [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857880
Comments: 16
Kudos: 148





	Broken Zipper and Cigarette Burns

**Author's Note:**

> I've been in my emotions lately, so I decided to write something fluffy about it.
> 
> I'm fully aware this is the second fic I've posted today, but also I don't have enough self-respect to care, so there's that. 
> 
> I highly recommend listening to the song, by the way, it bops.

_“You'd probably think I was psychotic (if you knew)_  
_What I still got in my closet (sad but true)”_

Ryan’s been meaning to give it back to Shane, honest. He just thinks about it when Shane isn’t around, and when he is around he forgets.

Shane had left his dark gray hoodie at Ryan’s place a few weeks ago. Clearly he didn’t miss it, though, because he hadn’t mentioned it. So it just sat in Ryan’s room, where he had moved it so that his roommates didn’t spill on it or anything. Granted, its location in Ryan’s room made him more likely to forget about it whenever Shane did come over, but it was in his best interest.

It’s not a big deal, anyways, it was just an accident. He’s just forgotten to give it back. That kind of stuff happens all the time. He’ll get it back to him eventually.

_“Slip it on over my shoulders_  
_Something I'll never get over_  
_It makes me feel a little bit closer to you”_

One night it’s his turn to take out the garbage, and he pulls on the first hoodie he finds to walk to the road. When he gets back, he realizes that it’s Shane’s, the one he’d been meaning to get back to him. It’s incredibly comfortable, though, and hangs loosely on his frame. Even though he’s broader than Shane, his friend’s height more than makes up for it, so Ryan still feels small in it.

 _Is this why my girlfriends always steal my clothes?_ He stops that thought in its tracks, though, not liking the implications. Or maybe liking the implications too much and not liking the implications of that. Either way.

He keeps the hoodie on, though, when he goes back inside and plays video games. None of his roommates comment on it.

He’ll get it back to Shane, honest.

_“I'm still rocking your hoodie_  
_And chewing on the strings_  
_It makes me think about you_  
_So I wear it when I sleep”_

He doesn’t get it back to Shane before quarantine starts. So it sits on the chair in his room.

Ryan is handling the quarantine fine. The first couple weeks, at least.

That’s when he starts missing the office. Missing the staff at Watcher.

Missing Shane.

He says it in a post mortem. But Shane doesn’t say it back.

Later that week, though, he opens Instagram to see that Shane’s tagged him in a few throwback posts.

“Guess that’s Shane for _miss you too_ ,” he says to himself in his room, not even embarrassed to be talking to himself.

He finds himself coming up with reasons to throw the hoodie on. He’s got to pick up delivery from outside, it’s too cold in the living room, it becomes a fairly regular occurrence, but he doesn’t let himself think about it. One day he’s working on an edit, trying to keep himself busy, when he realizes he’s got the drawstring of the hood in his mouth, chewing on the aglet (yes, he does only know that word because of “Phineas and Ferb,” thank you very much) as though it’s his own hoodie, not someone else’s.

He wonders if Shane has ever chewed on the drawstrings before. The thought doesn’t gross him out like he thinks it should.

That night, he doesn’t take it off. He goes to bed still wearing it. It’s the best night’s sleep he’s gotten in a long time.

_“I kept the broken zipper_  
_And cigarette burns._  
_Still rockin’ your hoodie,_  
_Baby, even though it hurts.”_

The hoodie doesn’t close all the way, and there are a few suspicious burn marks on the sleeve, and Ryan knows all of this within one month of quarantine. He knows the hoodie well, _too_ well, but he doesn’t let himself think about it.

He starts sleeping in it most nights with a pair of sweatpants. He doesn’t let himself think about that either. He just misses his friend, is all. Misses people in general.

It does hurt a little bit, to be reminded of when he and Shane would be sharing beds at haunted locations or at motels while filming. The close quarters were kind of fun, not that he’d admit it to anyone, including Shane.

While it hurts to remember those good times, it also makes him feel closer to Shane, somehow. It doesn’t make any sense, and he’s fully aware of it. He doesn’t really care, though.

_“I used to put my hands in your pockets (holding on)._  
_The smell of your cologne is still on it (but you’re still gone)._  
_Slip it on over my shoulders,_  
_Someone I’ll never get over._  
_Makes me feel a little bit closer to you.”_

One night, while scrolling through old photos, he finds one of him and Shane on location for an episode of “Unsolved.” He remembers that night. It was cold, and Ryan’s teeth were chattering so loud he could barely respond “shut up, Shane” as his friend teased him for it.

The crew was busy setting up tripods and static cams, so they sat by themselves on the steps leading to the house, not allowed in yet.

“Come here,” Shane had said, and Ryan scooted closer without even thinking. Shane took his hands and put them in the pockets of the gray hoodie he was wearing with his own, so they started to get warm.

Ryan didn’t pay any attention to how close he was to Shane. Didn’t pay attention to how nice Shane’s hands felt against his own. Didn’t pay attention to how nice he smelled. Honest, he didn’t.

Now, Ryan sniffs the hoodie, trying to smell Shane’s cologne. It's probably a figment of his imagination, but he’s pretty sure he can still catch a hint of it in the dark fabric.

He allows himself to think it: _I miss him._

It’s sad, and it hurts, but wearing the too-big hoodie makes him feel like Shane’s holding him like that night on the cold porch. Makes him feel like Shane’s there for him.

_“If you want it back,_  
_I’m here waiting._  
_Come take it back.”_

One morning, Ryan wakes up to his phone buzzing crazily on his nightstand. He rolls over, bleary-eyes, and unlocks it to see what’s happening.

 _Emergency meeting ASAP_ reads the text from Steven. He and Shane both reply at about the same time that they’re able to join a Zoom call.

Ryan stumbles across his room to his desk and powers on his computer, opening Zoom.

In a few moments, the call connects and Steven is on screen, and so is Shane.

“Guys!” Steven’s practically giddy with excitement.

“What’s wrong?” Shane asks, and Ryan asks “what’s the matter?” at the same time.

“Lockdown’s been lifted! We can start going back to the office!”

They all cheer, and Ryan smiles so widely his cheeks hurt. He feels like a weight that he didn’t even know was there has been lifted off of his chest. “That’s amazing!”

“It’s Friday,” Steven starts, “so I was thinking that we can try to go back to work as usual on Monday?”

“What’s usual?” Shane asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Good point,” Steven replies with a chuckle. “How about just whenever it seems reasonable on Monday? As long as it’s _before_ noon?”

“Ah, come on, Steven,” Ryan says in a mock-whine. “One pm is plenty reasonable.”

Steven rolls his eyes, and changes the subject to actual business related things. They talk for about twenty minutes, figuring out how to communicate with the staff. When they’re done, Steven says “I’ll see you two on Monday.” He leaves the call, and it’s just Shane and Ryan.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Ryan says with a grin on his face that feels stupid, but he can’t bring himself to care, “but I can’t wait to get back in to work.”

“Me either,” Shane replies happily. “It’s been forever.”

“Yeah.” That’s when Ryan realizes he’s still wearing the hoodie. The emergency meeting message had scared him so badly that his clothes were the last thing on his mind.

He’s hoping Shane won’t notice, but no such luck.

“Wait a second, isn’t that mine?”

“Uh… yeah. I think so.” There doesn’t seem to be any point in lying, or saying he didn’t realize. He tugs on the drawstring a little bit.

“I’ve been wondering where that went.”

“It’s been here for a while, I’ve just forgotten to get it back to you,” he says sheepishly. Then he’s hit with an idea. “You can… You can come get it. Pick up some breakfast on your way, we can hang out for a little bit before the world starts going back to normal.”

He knows this implies that they won’t hang out once the world is back to normal, but he’s almost desperate to see Shane in person again.

“Sounds good. I’ll be there once I get ready to go. About thirty?”

Ryan nods. “Yeah, see you then.”

They disconnect, and Ryan slumps back in his chair. He’s going to see Shane again. In person.

When’s the last time he’s washed his hair?

Twenty-seven panic-filled minutes later, Ryan is showered and wearing clean jeans for the first time in longer than he’d care to admit, opening the door for Shane, carrying two paper bags from a restaurant he knows they both like. “It’s good to see you in person,” he says with a grin that Ryan hasn’t gotten to fully appreciate in months.

Shane seems so different without lag or Wifi-dependent picture quality. His smile seems brighter, his eyes deeper, and as soon as he puts the bags down on the breakfast table and pulls off the hoodie he wore over, Ryan almost tackles him with a hug. Shane hugs him back, and they stand there like that, two friends holding each other close, for longer than they’d ever hugged before. Ryan doesn’t mind, and he doesn’t really care if Shane does. He’s been looking forward to this for ages.

“I’ve missed you too,” Shane says into his hair.

They eat breakfast, and Ryan laughs harder at Shane’s antics than he has in a long time. Shane just seems _funnier_ in person. It doesn’t make sense, but since when does that matter? Their feet keep brushing underneath the table, and it may be a little bit on purpose on Ryan’s part, but who can blame him?

“I really missed you,” Ryan says during a short lull in the conversation.

“Yeah, at least you stole my hoodie, right?”

Ryan fights down a blush. “You left it here! I was just… keeping it warm…” It sounds lame to his own ears, and he looks down at the table to avoid Shane’s gaze.

“It’s okay, Ryan. Really. It looked like it suited you this morning.”

Ryan looks up, and sees that it’s apparently Shane’s turn to blush, because he’s looking away.

That’s when he does something impulsive. He reaches across the table for Shane’s hand, and rests his own on top of it. Shane looks down at their hands, and twists his wrist so that they’re actually holding hands, palm-to-palm, fingers laced together.

They’re quiet for a long moment before Ryan speaks up. “I’ve been thinking,” he starts, and Shane starts laughing.

“That’s never followed by anything good.”

Ryan shakes his head and squeezes Shane’s hand lightly. “Shut up, Shane. I was thinking… do you maybe wanna go… get dinner or something some night this week? Go see a movie?”

“That sounds great,” he says without seeming to even think about it.

“Good.”

They finish eating, and Shane needs to get back to his place. He pulls on the hoodie that Ryan had borrowed. “Glad to have this back,” he says with a smile, standing at Ryan’s door with him.

“It’s your fault it was still here, you know.”

Shane chuckles and bumps Ryan with his elbow. “I’ll see you Monday, okay?”

“Okay.” He pulls Shane into another hug - because he can.

It lasts a long moment before they pull away from one another. Shane starts out the door, but before he leaves, he bends over and presses a quick kiss to Ryan’s cheek before turning quickly and leaving without another word.

Ryan stands in his entryway, shocked, and slowly places his fingers on his cheek where Shane’s lips had been.

“I’m gonna have to ask him about that, aren’t I?” he says to himself in the quiet of his apartment.

After he shakes himself out of it, he goes back to where he and Shane had eaten to clean up.

On the chair where Shane had sat, there’s the hoodie that Shane had worn over.

It still smells like him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I first heard this song today and absolutely fell in love and had to write something with it, it's too perfect not to. 
> 
> Please let me know if you liked it!! This is pretty different from my usual fare, I think, so I'd like to know how it works!!


End file.
